What makes the narrator's happiness feel "like a lie" in Doris Lessing's "The Golden Notebook"?

In Doris Lessing's "The Golden Notebook," the narrator's happiness feels "like a lie" primarily due to the struggle with feelings of guilt and self-doubt. This complexity in emotional experience highlights how personal happiness can be overshadowed by inner turmoil. The narrator grapples with conflicting emotions, particularly guilt stemming from various aspects of life, including her relationships and societal expectations. This internal conflict creates a sense of dissonance; even when she seems to experience joy, it is undercut by deeper anxieties and moral questions about her choices and situation.

The weight of self-doubt further complicates her feelings—making it challenging to embrace happiness fully. Rather than being a straightforward experience, her joy is tinged with the recognition that there may be underlying issues that are unresolved, leading her to question the authenticity of her happiness. This portrayal encapsulates the struggle many individuals face when their external circumstances may suggest contentment, yet internally they wrestle with feelings that undermine that sense of fulfillment.